Tag Archive for: authenticity

How do we accept that we can’t do it all and prioritize what is truly essential?

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I have been supporting a friend through the slow decline of her mother as they withdraw her life support. Dying has a powerful and uncanny way of slowing us down, getting our attention, and awakening us to what truly matters.

There is a lot of expectation and confusion about what is truly important in our lives. There are so many options. So many choices. So many “shiny objects” that call for our attention.

Here’s a few ideas to help live more simply in a complex world:

  1. Stop and get your bearings. It’s an old and ironic habit to run faster when we’ve lost our way. It is always good to shut off the noise, turn off technology, and create a space to be still and listen to the voice inside. Journaling, meditation, prayer, or walks in the woods are all good tools that provide beneficial medicine.
  2. Set your own goal for a good life. I honestly used to spend money I didn’t have, on things I didn’t need, to impress people I didn’t know. Resist the tendency to follow the crowd and decide what your values are and do your best to live your life in alignment with those values. An Australian nurse named Bronnie Ware cared for people in the last three months of their life and recorded their most often discussed regrets. At the top of the list: “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
  3. Give yourself permission to stop trying to do it all. When you stop saying yes to everyone, you can make your highest contribution toward what truly matters. Be sure you are saying yes to truly matters to you.
  4. Bring a little more kindness into your world. Maybe the Beatles had it right. All you need is love. Striving for more, pushing for continual growth, getting more “stuff” does not make us any happier. Here’s a poem written by my favorite author, Anonymous: “I have wept in the night, at my shortness of sight, that to someone’s need was I blind. But I’ve never once had, a twinge of regret, for being a little too kind.”

Every decision we make brings us closer or further away from the life we want.

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Do you agree or disagree?

If you agree, every decision becomes important, so how do we make the right ones?

The central purpose of my work is to help people connect with their true nature and express it consciously in their life and work.

I contend that the life we ultimately want is a life aligned with our true nature. Every decision we make takes us closer or further away from that life. We are born authentic, but the world tells us how we “should” be, so in order to feel safe we abandon our true self. I can’t imagine a sadder way to die than to realize you never showed up as your true self.

Authentic leadership is synonymous with being yourself, then creating environments where people can discover and express themselves. It’s that simple, and it’s that difficult.

Every time you make a choice you come closer or further away from yourself.

In the midst of all the noise, it is hard to tune in to the voice within, but living authentically is living consciously and deliberately. It starts by simply being still.

If you want to explore this concept further, check out my next complimentary webinar: https://lnkd.in/d37Prt4a
or the upcoming Authentic Leadership Academy: https://lnkd.in/gMi2euzp

Looking at things objectively – It’s about awareness, ownership, and personal responsibility

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As humans, we bring our moods, perceptions, and views of the world into our interactions. It could be imposing a tone on an email or making assumptions about what someone is asking. We might come to work in a bad mood after an argument with our spouse and take it out on a team member. Maybe we spend our weekends caring for a sick parent and come to work exhausted on a Monday morning.

So how do we stay objective and take bias out of the picture?

First of all you, realize that you can’t take bias out of the picture. We are never going to be 100% objective. This doesn’t mean we’re bad people. It means we’re human.

What we can do is become more self-aware and self-responsible. Acknowledge our biases and be more honest with ourselves and the people who depend on us. We can be aware of the impact of our biases and behavior and when we find ourselves in a bad mood, for example, stop and ask what the source of the irritability is. Is there something going on in your personal life? Are you taking care of yourself? Can you set the mood aside before work?

Once you get to the source of what’s bothering you, ask yourself what you can do to resolve it so you don’t take it out on people that have nothing to do with it. Do you need to make a call and settle things with someone directly? Do you need to get more rest or take better care of your mental or physical health? Do you need to simply let it go for the day and take care of it later, so you don’t contaminate your working relationships with people who have nothing to do with it?

It’s about awareness, ownership, and personal responsibility.

We don’t see the world as it is. We see the world as we are.

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A story that circulated in my family growing up was about a couple of mischievous boys who wanted to play a joke on their grandpa. While he napped, they rubbed some Limburger cheese in his mustache.

When grandpa awoke, he sniffed and said, “It stinks in here!”
He walked into the kitchen, sniffed around and declared: “It stinks in here too!”
Leaving the kitchen, he walked through the hallway to his front door. Sure enough, as he sniffed, he muttered, “It even stinks in here!”
Flinging the front door open, he took a breath of what he expected to be fresh air. But once again the Limburger cheese filled his nostrils, and grandpa shouted in disgust: “The whole world stinks!”

Did the whole world stink? Of course not. The real problem was right under grandpa’s nose.

Before we complain about our boss or our spouse or the government or poor service, be sure to look first in the mirror and find out what’s under our nose.

We don’t see the world as it is. We see the world as we are.

Find Your Inspired Leadership in 2024

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In today’s professional world, the relationship between energy and success is clear: Energy can drive leaders to succeed, and energy can drive you out the door to work. Every relationship, every decision, every action either depletes us or inspires us. Producing extraordinary results on your team requires attention to energy. It is vital for leaders to understand what it takes to create an inspired, energized workplace.

Five pillars of an inspired life and workplace:

  1. Intention: Finding inspiration in the little things.
  2. Vulnerability: Sharing values, dreams, ideas, and stories.
  3. Inquiry: Curiosity fosters a learning culture, and a true learning culture is an inspired culture.
  4. Generosity: A servant heart inspires people to be their best self.
  5. Authenticity: We are naturally creative, committed, and capable. When you make it safe to be who you are, inspiration and success come naturally.

If you are committed to discover your inspired leadership in 2024, join me for a complimentary webinar on January 26: https://lnkd.in/d37Prt4a

The Human Need To Be Seen

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Being on a jumbotron, whether at a sporting event, concert, or public gathering, can elicit various reactions depending on your personality and comfort level with attention. The most common, however, is excitement and enthusiasm. It’s a human need to be seen. We all need to know that we matter. To know that we make a difference; that because we are alive, we have an impact. Somewhere. Somehow. To someone.

It’s such a strong need, that kids will do anything to get attention and recognition when it isn’t there. They’ll act out. They’ll do stupid stuff. They’ll hurt themselves or others. They’ll compromise their values and what they know to be right. They may even turn to suicide.

And adults are no different. While we ultimately grow to where we can affirm ourselves and realize we can find value from within (through the difference we make to others and our simple inherent goodness), to get there, we need encouraging, caring people to help us know that we are valuable, that we are recognized, and that we are important for who we are.

What are you doing to recognize, to see, to truly value the people in your life?

How do you know that your treasuring people is actually making a meaningful difference?

Why do you matter? What are you doing to affirm that you are seen in the world?