Trauma And Its Impact on Leadership

One does not have to be a military veteran or live in a war zone to encounter trauma. Trauma happens to us, our friends, colleagues, families, and neighbours. Research suggests that up to thirty percent of women (and twenty percent of men) in this country have been sexually abused. Twenty-five percent have been beaten by a parent severe enough to leave a mark. Thirty percent of couples engage in physical violence. A quarter of us grew up with alcoholic relatives, and ten percent have witnessed their mother being beaten or hit. Many researchers feel these statistics are conservative, and they don’t even account for the unmeasured and unpredictable rage and verbal abuse many grew up with.

Human beings are a resilient species, but it’s naïve to think that such events in our upbringing don’t impact the way we relate to people in our homes, communities, and workplaces. Trauma leaves traces on our minds and bodies. It impacts the way we think, the way we feel, the way we interact with those around us, and the way we live.

When you move into a position of leadership, you don’t acquire more power. What you get is more accountability. Considering the trauma that many have experienced, here are five accountabilities of a positional leader in relation to trauma, stress, and psychological safety in the workplace:

  1. Learn why creating a psychologically safe work environment is critical to a successful work environment and why being at peace with yourself is the foundation of all good leadership.
  2. Become familiar with your own inner state and aware of how your moods impact others. Learn to know the difference between when you’re stressed and when you are relaxed.
  3. Recognize how any trauma in your life may have impacted your past or current actions and identify a plan for healing and working with this trauma.
  4. Get regular feedback from trusted colleagues and friends on how your actions may be inadvertently creating unnecessary tension in your leadership. We all have blind spots and need to take an inventory of these on a continual basis.
  5. Be open to keep learning about psychological safety and ways to ensure a safe, caring, and accountable workplace under your leadership.

Twelve Indicators Of Authenticity

For seven decades, leadership scholars have conducted thousands of studies to determine the traits of great leaders. Thankfully, none have constructed a clear profile of an ideal leader. There’s no single leadership style or approach to leadership you can imitate to become a great leader. We can certainly learn from others, but we all have to find our unique authentic self.

Being an authentic leader comes from being more fully who you are. It’s that simple and it’s that complex.

Here are twelve indicators of being authentic:

  1. A sense of purpose. Authentic people have a sense of purpose that gives them a reason to get up in the morning and keep walking through the hard times.
  2. They resist conformity. Authentic people don’t need others to validate their worth. They can express their opinions openly when needed. Not to be compliant or defiant, but simply to be honest.
  3. Deep-seated curiosity. Authentic people are life-long learners and actively pursue feedback from others.
  4. The courage to be vulnerable. They have a close community where they share their struggles, fears, values, self-doubts, dreams, uncertainties, grief, and deepest joy – so they are comfortable bringing the full spectrum of their humanity to the world.
  5. They care about others. They are present and engaged, taking time to listen, tune in, and sincerely value others.
  6. They own their mistakes. Authentic people take responsibility for their actions, including their mistakes. and can admit when they are wrong.
  7. Humility. They know they are never the smartest person in the room and shine the light on others.
  8. They know their values, set good boundaries, and can say no.
  9. They work for the greater good. They are committed to service over self-interest.
  10. They respect others. Authentic people value of diversity, and are not threatened by, but welcome and celebrate differences. They seek to understand as many alternative work views as deeply as they can.
  11. They are accountable. They show up. You can count on authentic people.
  12. Authentic people are self-accepting. They know they can’t always exhibit some of these traits and somehow find a way to be okay with their imperfect humanity.

Tag a leader in your life that demonstrates these traits.

Why A Values-Based Approach To Leadership Is Critical for Engagement

When you hold a kite’s string, you are the anchor that allows it to soar high in the sky. Letting go of that string does not make the kite soar to greater heights. In fact, releasing your grip causes the kite to crash to the ground.

Similarly, sustained principles act as an anchor for your leadership. Individuals who hold on to their principles reach their highest potential.

Many organizations have fancy value statements, but if you don’t have a clear path to get the values into the lives of every person in the organization, then these statements are empty resolutions.

There is a huge difference between values statements and real values.

Join David this Friday (February 23) as he shares his experience, research, and perspective on what it truly means to be value-based in your life and leadership – and the power that will come from it.

  1. Learn how being people-centered breeds entitlement.
  2. Discover how values-based leadership starts with value-based living.
  3. Leave with practical insights for engaging your teams by being values-based.

To register go to: https://lnkd.in/d37Prt4a

#leadership #values #authenticity #engagement #workculture #accountability #perspective #freewebinar

How much is enough?

Not long ago I gave a presentation to a group of entrepreneurs where the membership requirement was to be earning more than a million dollars a year.

I started with a simple question: “How much is enough?”

No one could answer the question. The best I got was, “More than we have now.”

So many have so much that they have forgotten what enough actually feels like.

We live in a culture that defines our worth by more: more money, more stuff, more followers, more likes, more titles, more fame, more visibility, more recognition, more status. The list goes on and on.

What we end up with is more exhaustion, more mental health challenges, more suicides, more overdoses, and a planet of dwindling resources.

Our model of more is simply not sustainable. We need a new approach to navigate this world with a reliable inner compass.

Lily Tomlin had it right when she said, “The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat… I will not join the rat race because I’m not a rat… The only race I’ll take part in is for humans being humane.”

If you feel compelled to step back and get a new perspective, to live and lead from an authentic, centered place with a community that will support you to be who you are, I hope you will join me in my upcoming Authentic Leadership Academy. https://lnkd.in/gMi2euzp

To get a preview of what you can expect from the Academy, sign up for my complimentary Authentic Leadership Mini-Series that starts in early March. https://lnkd.in/g4M9qpWh

Relaxation is Overrated

The past few months I’ve been working through a great online course by Cal Newport and Scott Young titled, “A Life Of Focus.” It’s about getting to what truly matters in your life, pruning the unimportant, and learning to stay focused on what is essential – without distraction. A central theme of the course, which is well aligned with my work, is reducing the time we spend distracting ourselves with screens.

When we put our devices down and get present to life, one of the many fears that can surface is that, without Netflix or social media, our minds cannot relax after a hard day of mental activity. However, research tells us that our mental faculties are capable of continuous hard activity; they don’t tire like an arm or a leg. Other than sleep, our minds don’t need rest. What they need is variety.

You don’t need to binge Netflix to relax. You don’t need to surf social media or get lost in a vortex of YouTube to give your mind a break. In fact, quite the opposite.

Your mind wants activity and diversity. Continuous hard activity and lots of variety. High quality pursuits like creating something, training for a sport, writing, reading something challenging, getting involved in a project that requires mental effort, learning to play an instrument, going for a walk, working out, doing volunteer work, or engaging in good conversation. All these activities add energy to our lives instead of subtracting it.

If you replace idle “vegging out” with thoughtful, intentional activity you’ll end up more energized and more satisfied with life.

How Do You Spot Entitlement?

I’ve noticed that in the midst of great abundance there is an equal and opposite reaction: entitlement. It seems to be human nature that the more you get, the more you want.

I grew up with telephone party lines, with one line for five or six residences. Sometimes you had to wait 1/2 hour to make a phone call. Now I get impatient with my cell phone provider when I get a dropped call and have to redial with the push of one button.

The reverse of this also seems true. My mother lived through the Depression in a 900 square foot shack with nine siblings, enduring years of unimaginable poverty. She was void of entitlement. She taught me that with every right comes a responsibility. When she was close to death she said, “After 78 years, I accept death. I was fortunate just to have lived!”
Joyce did not even feel entitled to life itself. Hard times appear to be an ally in countering entitlement.

There are some key differences to observe between personal responsibility and entitlement.