Volatility Does Not Earn Credibility

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Years ago, I had a boss who was emotionally unstable. He was quick to anger and got annoyed easily. He would often get upset about the smallest details. He was prone to irritation and annoyance.

He was well educated, talented, and bright, and when he was in a good mood, you couldn’t meet a nicer person.

But you never knew which temperament he would bring to work.

For a while, most of the team could tolerate his erratic personality, and I was too immature and scared to talk to him about the impact he was having on me.

It came to a head in a financial crisis. When the non-profit’s funding was in jeopardy, he was so stressed that we lost all confidence in him and most quit.

A true test of character – one of the cornerstones of credibility – is composure: poise under pressure. A self-confident manner provides steadiness and stability to those around you.

Three suggested strategies for gaining composure:

1. Acknowledge that losing your temper is never appropriate. It is not impressive or tough. It’s a mistake. It’s weakness, not strength. If you lose your temper once, I’ll be uncertain when you’ll lose it next. Emotional volatility is not only inappropriate, it erodes credibility and trust.

2. Recognize volatility within you. This can be tricky because anxiety, instability, and a quickness to anger can be so familiar we don’t see its effect on others. Be sure to get regular feedback from the people in your life.

3. Get some coaching. Learning to develop composure without shutting off emotions requires a level of precision and skill that rarely can be done alone.

What’s the difference between venting and complaining?

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One of the responsibilities that comes with adulthood is to contain your emotions. Four-year-olds are unable to do this. When a temper-tantrum comes on, they erupt. They aren’t capable of taking into account how their actions and feelings impact those around them. Their emotions run their life. So when a forty-year-old acts like this, we call them immature.

Containing feelings is not the same as suppressing them.

Containing them means having clear boundaries so you can attend to your emotions in a constructive way. Venting is contained, which means it has a beginning and an end. Venting is done in “contained” space, like an office behind closed doors or in a coffee shop away from the office. At the end of venting, you reach for a constructive solution that makes the situation better.

Like garbage, emotions need to be put in a container. Once in a container, they can be turned into fertilizer and used for good. Spewing garbage all over the workplace would obviously contaminate the environment. So why do it with emotions?

Complaining is non-contained emotional expression. It leaks into the things we say. It surrounds the water cooler and cafeteria conversations. It taints relationships and can build an entire culture of finger pointing that regresses into an adolescent mind-set rather than an accountable one.

Complaining is a defence against the courage to change, while venting addresses the issues and inspires you take action.

Even though we’re all guilty of it, let’s stop complaining and start courageously facing our life.

Town of Cochrane at their annual Health and Safety Day

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This past week I had the good fortune of presenting to all the staff at the Town of Cochrane at their annual Health and Safety Day. These were a team of dedicated individuals who are committed to helping keep Cochrane an incredible place to live and visit.

Thanks to all the Town of Cochrane employees for all you do. Stay safe. Be well. And know that every one of you makes a difference to our community.

The Acclimatization Of Success

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Climbers who have reached the top of Everest say acclimatization takes several weeks when you get over 3000 meters. The idea is to expose the body gradually to higher and higher altitudes, forcing it to adjust, and then returning to a lower elevation that the body is used to, to recuperate.

Without acclimatization, even if you’re in superb physical condition, altitude sickness results. Symptoms of altitude sickness range from a mild headache to incapacitation and death.

I wonder if we need some of the same rigor when we climb whatever you define as your personal “Everest.”

Here are a few guideposts to help you acclimatize:

  1. Define what success means to you. Be sure this is your mountain, not a mountain someone else expects you to climb.
  2. Know your values and stay connected to them. You don’t want to gain success but lose your soul. Be careful that you don’t reach the summit only to discover you’re on the wrong mountain.
  3. Understand the difference between primary success and secondary success. Steven Covey defined the difference where secondary success includes position, popularity, public image, and profit. Primary success is about the person you become on the journey. Don’t confuse the two.
  4. Sustain your character. When your wealth is lost, something is lost; when your health is lost, a great deal is lost; when your character is lost, everything is lost. In an age of secondary success, polls seem to matter more than moral conviction, and what’s on the outside has become more consequential than what’s on the inside.
  5. Festina lente. Festina lente is a classical adage and oxymoron meaning “make haste slowly”. It was adopted as a motto by the emperors Augustus and Titus, the Medicis and the Onslows. Climbing the summit of success too quickly – without deliberate, thoughtful planning and a sustained connection to your heart – can be dangerous, if not fatal.

What’s the difference between learning about leadership and leadership development?

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My experience in the leadership development field has taught me that there’s a difference between learning about leadership and leadership development. There’s a difference between listening to a TED talk, podcast, audio book, Youtube video or reading about leadership, and investing in a leadership development experience.

This past week at our ninth Authentic Leadership Academy, we co-created such a transformational leadership development experience.

The Academy is built around three fundamental principles:

  1. Inner harmony precedes outer harmony. Everything flows from inner well-being.
  2. There’s a difference between secondary and primary success. Secondary success has to do with position, popularity, public image, and profit. Primary success is about the person you become on the journey. It’s important not to confuse the two.
  3. Connecting with your true nature and expressing it consciously in your life and work requires the greatest amount of change and makes the greatest amount of impact.

The recent Academy was a manifestation of these principles. We created a community of incredible difference makers who were deeply connected to their humanity. Being with these leaders for three days reinforced my belief that being a good leader is, first and foremost, about being a good person.

What was particularly inspiring was observing the growth of participants who came with their teams, knowing that they can take the learnings back to their organizations.

If you want to build cohesiveness and commitment with your teams or are committed to more deeply and clearly discovering your authentic leadership, I invite you to join our next Academy: November 14-17, 2023 (in-person) or November 28-December 1 (virtual).

What is job security – really?

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If you pay a visit to Crystal glass in Cochrane to get your windshield fixed or a window replaced, chances are you’ll meet Amanda. Amanda is one of the most positive, helpful, and enthused people you’ll ever meet. She’s always smiling, always ready to be of service.

For a long time I thought she owned the shop, until I found out she was employed as a customer service professional.

“How do you stay so positive, especially when you are dealing so often with demanding, negative customers?” I asked her.
“My grandma. She inspired me to always smile.” Amanda replied and then she showed me the tattoo on her arm.

“Just before Grandma died, I had this tattooed on my arm. In part to honor her, in part to remember her, and in part to keep being inspired by her.”

“You know you could have a job in a lot of places with your attitude,” I told her.

“I know,” she said. She then opened her desk drawer and pulled out a stack of business cards two inches thick. “These are all the people who have offered me a job since I started working here.”

Amanda reminds us all that job security is an inside job. It doesn’t come from your employer. Job security comes from your employability. If you bring value and the right attitude to the marketplace, the marketplace will reward you in return.

While the best leaders will do their best to make the workplace safe and secure, there is ultimately no true security in the world.

Security is determined by your philosophy, not by the economy.